Does blogger’s block even exist? According to my spell checker blogger doesn’t exist so I guess that would be a no.

Anyway, that’s not what’s kept me away from here. Though the 8 attempted posts that are sitting in my drafts folder might suggest otherwise.

The truth is I’ve been busy on a crazy project that I’ve been wanting to do for ages but haven’t had the space. Well, it’s not really my dream project but it’s a start.

The dream project would require a lot more space than I’m ever likely to have while I’m still living in the UK. So what is it?

I’ve always loved making things out of old junk. Paper mache is my favourite medium. It’s a great way to recycle and you end up with something useful or a work or art.

Or, in this case, something to clutter up the house and serve no purpose at all other than to challenge my skill as an artist someone who creates things out of soggy newspaper.

It’s still very much a work in progress but here are a few pics:

.

The Early Stages

This is just the beginning. A good strong structure and plenty of time to dry are essential in the early stages as I found out to my cost shortly after this pic was taken.

.

Adding Some Detail

*Puts on best Rolf Harris voice* Can you tell what it is yet?

.

Oops!

Okay, this was the part where one of us got lazy. My guy’s jodan mawashi geri became a chudan yoko geri over night.

I was tempted to blame him for not having the strength to hold it, but he’s made of paper and he hasn’t got a head yet so that would be crazy. So I concluded it must be my fault for not building a strong enough structure.

After ripping the legs of his ‘dogi’ off I discovered that it wasn’t actually a strength issue at all. It was an impatience issue. I hadn’t given him long enough to really dry out before I added the extra weight of the ‘pants’.

His slight sogginess had caused his leg to drop down to waist level. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I hacked his right leg off with a craft knife, lifted it back into position and strung it up on the door frame. While I had his pants off I decided to give the structure a bit more rigidity anyway, just to be on the safe side.

.

Adding Strength

.

This time I left him to dry for a few days. I salvaged what I could of his dogi but I’m not sure I like the way it’s going at this stage. I might need to rethink that.

In the meantime it’s just draped over his kicking leg while I’m away at work. Oh the frustration! Never mind, at least it gives me time to blog.

This is how I left him:

.

Progress So Far

There’s still a long way to go and I have no idea how I’m going to make his head. It will be fun figuring it out though. In the meantime I’m just enjoying working on a big project instead of fiddly little things.

And the dream project?

One day I’m going to make a life-size hippopotamus out of paper mache.

.

.

…It didn’t happen. Actually, not a lot happened. By the time I finished yesterday’s blog entry it was pretty much bed time anyway.

Today has been one of those days. I seem to have been on the go all day but I don’t have that much to show for it.

I have been writing but my fiction has taken a back seat. Well, writing it has anyway. A while ago I was moaning that these characters don’t ‘speak to me’ the way Tristan did in Sanchin. Oh boy, they do now. I can’t shut them up!

Walking around like a crazy person is par for the course for me at the best of times, but when I have two fictional characters yelling in my head I become downright dangerous.

I did manage to ignore them for long enough to get some of my non-fiction writing done though. I’m working to a deadline on the e-zine that I write for a web site my friend and I run. True to form, I’ve set myself a monumental task by including a tutorial in every issue.

Sooo, not only do I have to write the Tip of the Month, answer reader’s questions, edit their submissions and design and layout the whole thing, I also have to make the subject of the tutorial (African masks this month) so that I can take step-by-step photos and then write it up too.

Now, I’m not complaining, because I really enjoy doing this. But it is time consuming and it does have a habit of eating several days out of my month.

Add to that the writing I do for client’s web sites (as well as my own), karate training, a full-time job which involves being away from home for two weeks at a time plus reading and editing manuscripts for other people and you can see why it’s taken me over a year to get half way through the first draft of Yantsu.  Okay, breathe!

Did I make enough excuses yet? No? (I’m talking to my character’s here – don’t mind me.)

Then, of course there’s the obligatory daily lurk on Facebook, Twitter and K4L, answering emails, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. Oh yes, and I do occasionally eat and sleep.

I don’t think I’ll be doing much sleeping tonight, though. My boys really want to tell their story.

Oh well, nothing that a good dose of vodka chocolate won’t cure:)

.

Okay, I know, it’s been forever since I posted on here but I’ve fought my way through the cobwebs, dusted off the password and here I am.

I’m not promising to stick around though because, last time I did that, life pulled the rug out from under me and I never managed to get back to the blog.

The main reason for my absence has been way too much going on at work,  and the sad demise of my precious Lily Bean.

My Beautiful Girl

It was a huge shock losing her because she was fine when I went away for a week and when I got back she had gone into heart failure. I had to have her put to sleep exactly three months to the day I had Philby put down.

Okay, that’s the bad news out of the way, so what’s good?

Well, that depends on your point of view, but I’ve started writing again. Finally my characters in Yantsu woke up and gave me the nudge I needed. I’ve written over 3000 words in the last week and, even though today was a writing disaster, I still feel the urge.

Actually, today was a disaster all round but I survived relatively unscathed. I’m just not sure how I’m ever going to face the accountant again.

I was in the middle of my morning workout session which had, up to the point of my utter humiliation, consisted of an hour on the rebounder broken up with intervals of squat jumps, sit ups, leg raises, blocks, punches and kicks followed by 40 minutes of kata.

Now, I realise it’s unladylike but, when I work out, I sweat. Yup, unlike most women I know I don’t just glow, I actually sweat. There, I said it.

Anyway, I was just about to finish up and have a shower before the guy came round to service the water heater when there was a knock on the door.

So, like any sane person would, I ignored it and ducked into the bathroom for my shower, right? Err, wrong.

Purple in the face and looking like a reject from Miss Wet T-shirt 2010 (thank goodness for sports bras), I opened the door and found myself face to face with the accountant. OMG somebody shoot me now.

By the time he’d finished explaining why he was dropping the paperwork off in person and not posting it like he said he would, the water heater man had arrived. Nice one. I did get changed but I spent the entire afternoon feeling grubby and disgusting because he needed to turn the water off so I couldn’t shower.

Oh well, I’ll probably never see him again, I thought to myself. Pah! No such luck. Before he left he announced that he’d have to come back on Friday to fit a part he didn’t have. Great!

Disasters aside, I’m in front of the computer now and I might still manage a thousand words or so before bed.

I’ll endeavour to give an update on my progress tomorrow.

Okay, it wasn’t. Not by me anyway. I spent the entire night in A&E waiting for someone to be admitted to hospital. Not just anyone – the person I actually accompanied in the ambulance.

Anyway, we arrived at the hospital at around midnight, he was finally taken to the ward at 4am and I managed to get the 6:30 bus home.

Well, when I say home what I really mean is into town. Then I had to wait 45 minutes for a bus from town to home.

Never one to waste valuable time, rather than just hang around the bus station, I thought I’d take the opportunity to replenish the alcohol caffeine stocks. So I headed off to Morrisons.

I was already half way across the car park by the time I realised  that Morrisons is not actually open at 6:45am. Ah, but Asda is.

Asda is also at the other end of town. Oh well, there’s no decent coffee in the house and I’ve been up all night. I need caffeine!

So I do an about turn and head off to Asda. Of course, the usual door I go in is locked and I have to go all the way around this huge store to the door by the car park. No worries, I need the exercise.

So, I finally get inside and, but for the odd lime green and black clad entity wandering around with a bucket and mop, the place is completely deserted.

Cool, I should do my shopping at this time of day all the time. I got my coffee and a few other bits and pieces and headed for the till. Uh oh! There’s no one manning the tills. I actually have to use one of those self service thingies.

OMG! Someone remind me never to shop at this time of day again.

I followed the on-screen instructions and placed my bag to the right of the scanner. Suddenly there was an insane screeching sound and the screen flashed up a warning that there was something terribly wrong with my bag.

Hello! I’ve been using this bag to cart shopping around for at least three years and no one has found fault with it yet.

I was just about to flee the scene, minus my goodies (and possibly my bag), when a lime green person materialised out of nowhere . “Do you have any items in your bag, ma’am?”

“Er, yes, but not Asda items!”

She sort of craned her neck and peeked at the books and files in my bag then waved a card at the thingy and shut it up. “There you go, ma’am,” she said. “I’ve reset the machine for you.”

I thanked her and proceeded to scan the first item, my coffee. The thingy gave a happy little chirp and told me to place the item in my bag. I did and all seemed well. I did this with two more items but on the next one the thingy went berserk.

“Unexpected item scanned!”

Unexpected item? What do you mean unexpected item? Oh, I get it. Just because it’s no added sugar orange and pineapple juice you don’t expect me to buy it. You thought I’d go for the full sugar, full fat chocolate Hobnobs didn’t you? Well that assumption is size-ist and against the law in this country. Stupid machine!

The green person, who had been eyeing with suspicion since the dodgy bag incident, came to my rescue again.

I thanked her again, fed the thingy a £10 note, snatched my change and pushed my way through a forest of lime green security guards with as much dignity as I could muster.

Once out in the bracing air of the car park I felt much better realised I was going to have to run to catch my bus. I caught it with seconds to spare.

I collapsed into the nearest vacant seat, red-faced and gasping, and consoled myself that Lily-Bean would be waiting to welcome me home with open paws.

.

Lily-Bean

.

She wasn’t.

I got in and called her. No response. I checked the kitchen thinking she might have heard me get home and be sitting expectantly by her bowl.

She wasn’t.

I finally located her at the foot of my bed and expected her to be delighted to see me.

She wasn’t! In fact she fixed me with a glare that would have had a lesser mortal running for their life.

Being fearless, I threatened to transform her from a Lily-Bean to a ‘hasbean’ if she didn’t show a little more respect to her slave.

Being a cat, it fell on deaf ears and she gave me her best where-have-you-been-and-how-dare-you-be-late -for-my-breakfast look? I cracked first. I fed her, jumped into the shower and crawled into bed.

Then the phone rang. Not just once but four times. Come on, dammit! No one ever phones me on days when I haven’t been up all night.

Eventually I gave up on trying to sleep and decided to write instead. I might regret that tomorrow.

.

.

I’ve finally decided to stop feeling sorry for myself after my disastrous couple of months and get back into the swing of things. And to mark my return, I come bearing gifts. Okay, I have an ulterior motive but more about that in a second.

I have decided to give away the ebook version of my novel, Sanchin, for one week only.

To grab your copy just go along to Sanchin on Smashwords, add it to your basket, and use the coupon code VN48R to get it for free. The coupon is valid until 24th March.

So, what’s the catch?

All I ask is that if you use an ebook reader, or read ebooks on you phone or your microwave oven some other gadget, that you let me know if the formatting is okay.

If you don’t do the gadget thing, it’s available in PDF format to be read on your computer. In that case there’s no catch – unless of course you would like to leave me a review either here on my site or on Smashwords. It would be nice but it’s by no means compulsory:)

You can get in touch via my contacts page if you have any problems with the formatting or you would like to leave a review.

I hope you enjoy reading Sanchin as much as I enjoyed writing it.

.

.

Well, my second attempt to complete the Artist’s Way has ended pretty much the same way the first one did. It has come to a grinding halt.

And it’s not only the Artist’s Way. Right now I really need to take a break from the blog too, and possibly even my writing.

This is not something I’m doing lightly but life is just getting on top of me right now. Last week I worked a 126 hour week and this week I’m not even sure if I will still have a job by Friday.

Last Sunday I had to have my precious cat put to sleep and I’m still missing him terribly. I will get back to the blog and to my writing eventually, but for now I just need to take a break.

I will be back as soon as I feel up to it.

.

RIP my precious boy

It’s highly unlikely, I know, but some of you may have noticed that I am a week late posting the next instalment of the Artist’s Way.

I do have a good excuse though. It was the weather’s fault. Okay, not really, but in a round about way it was. Sort off.

You see, being a bit of a hippy/troglodyte/lunatic (or any number of other disparaging names you care to insert – I’ve heard them all), I don’t wear shoes unless I really have to. And, since bare feet have NO grip at all, when it’s icy I really have to.

And on Tuesday, the day I had to travel back to work, it decided to snow again! So, shoes. But not just any shoes, oh no. My inability to remain upright on anything remotely slippery is the stuff of legend.

It had to be…

The Boots

…The Boots!

Yeah, I know. What’s this got to do with the Artist’s Way? I’m getting there, trust me. But I haven’t written in ages and I need to waffle.

So, The Boots. I knew I was in trouble when I got out into the cold and found I was much stiffer than I thought I was from Sunday’s karate session.

I would have left the house earlier if I’d realised that the combination of The Boots (minus the spikes by the way) and my stiff muscles were going to leave me waddling like a duck with a carrot stuck somewhere ducks don’t normally stick carrots!

Convinced I was going to miss my train, I hobbled the last mile and a half to the station as fast as I could move. I survived. I made it to the station, crossed the footbridge with seconds to spare and, true to form, my train was late.

Ten minutes late. So now, I’m all hot and sweaty from my mad dash wearing more layers of clothing than most people wear in a week and footwear that holds my feet in a horribly unnatural position and standing on a freezing cold station.

My knee was already giving me trouble and I could feel my lower back tensing as I cooled down rather quickly. Sitting on the train in those ridiculously cramped seats didn’t help matters and, of course, by the time we got to Doncaster, I had missed my connection to Leeds.

Half an hour on another freezing platform and I was finally back on a train. At least this one had more leg room. Anyway, to prevent a long story getting any longer, I arrived in Leeds with just under two minutes to get from platform 6A to platform 12C.

Not an easy task wearing The Boots and carrying a rucksack containing, among other things, my laptop and a stack of books. I made it. But while I was making my crazed dash across the station a rather lost looking gentleman decided to walk from behind a staircase directly in front of me.

I managed to avoid a collision (how, I don’t know) but the sudden change in direction twisted my knee and my hip and my lower back seized up on me completely.

I survived the next train journey and the bus ride and got to work on time but I’ve been in agony with my back ever since. Today is the first day I’ve actually been able to sit behind the computer for longer than 10 minutes at a time – and that’s only because I’m alternating between co-codamol and ibuprofen every four hours and applying Deep Heat way more often than I should.

I totally know this wouldn’t have happened if I was barefoot and if it hadn’t been winter I would have been. I always run barefoot and often on countryside trails where sudden changes of direction and leaping over rabbit holes are a normal part of the outing. I’ve never once been injured doing it.

To top it all, on Thursday afternoon I had to be somewhere important which involved a 45 minute journey on icy roads and in thick fog. As if that wasn’t bad enough, five minutes from our destination a whacking great truck hit us and ripped the side out of the van.

Fortunately, other than the jolt to my back, no one was injured. Besides, I was so high on painkillers that, by this time, I didn’t actually care. And no, I wasn’t driving.

So, there you have it. My reason for not updating the Artist’s Way, or anything else for that matter.

Oh, and the first person to mention that I should have actually updated on Sunday, before the attack of The Boots, will get one squarely where the duck had the carrot!

Am I going to be arrested now for making random threats on the internet? If so, please make sure my cell has an extra firm mattress.

.

Oh boy, what a week. I’m not sure where to start with this one. I had no problem doing the tasks. In fact, I probably wrote more this week than I have in all the other weeks combined.

But while the Artist’s Way seemed to go smoothly, the rest of my life felt like it was coming apart at the seams. Anyway, this is all about the Artist’s Way, not sick cats, the vet, hospitals, the Inland Revenue, public transport, the electricity bill and the crazy-making TV licence people.

As I said, the tasks went well this week. I did a lot of writing and I discovered a few interesting things about myself. Not least of which being that my karate should probably be playing a bigger role in my life.

I’ve never really considered karate to be creative in the same way that I consider my art or my writing to be creative. Anyway, I’ve found that it is coming up a lot as I work through this course so I’ve decided to give it a little more attention.

The morning pages went from being a curse to a being blessing this week. With everything around me coming apart, the pages have been a great way to get it out of my head and onto the page.

It’s almost like I gain some perspective by just having a rant on a piece of paper that no one is ever going to see.

The big issue for me this week was the reading deprivation. The idea being that if I can’t read, I might find something more creative to do with my time.

To be fair, it almost worked. I did try writing when I would normally have read. The trouble is, I do all of my reading in bed at night. It helps me to sleep. But writing at night was helping to keep me awake. And I really don’t need any help in that department thank you very much.

Surprisingly, I did stick to the not reading rule. Even after being woken up by some of the most vivid and weird dreams I have ever had.

Like the one where I was in a tiny space in the Cango Caves in a red evening dress talking to someone I couldn’t see. I mean, come on! Me in an evening dress? And red, no less. It’s just never going to happen.

But, evening dress aside, although I was perfectly calm in the dream, I woke up feeling horribly claustrophobic and quite panicky. I longed to put the light on and read to take my mind off it.

But I found myself lying in the dark thinking about how awful it must be in Haiti with all of those poor people trapped for days under tons of rubble.

Just writing about it now is making my chest feel tight. That’s another sure fire way to gain a little perspective.

Okay, before I go into complete meltdown, here’s this week’s check in.

The Check In

Morning Pages: Definitely a blessing this week. If it wasn’t for getting all of the negativity out of my head first thing in the morning, I think I would have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown today.

I did them seven days out of seven and I have been doing them much earlier too. This morning I was scribbling away just before 6am. And for someone who is most definitely NOT a morning person, this is quite a breakthrough.

Artist’s Date: Hmm, again it was a bit of a flop but I have promised my inner artist a decent date when I’m home next week. I managed to have a wander round a couple of shops I never normally go into.

I looked at paper and coloured pens and things that actually do put me in the mood to create, but I didn’t buy anything. That’s the trouble with working away. It’s a bit of a mission to lug everything home if I buy stuff at work.

The Tasks: I felt the tasks went well this week. I uncovered a few reasons why I keep myself stuck in situations I don’t really like. All I need to do now is find the courage to move on out of them.

In Conclusion

Since my primary motivation for doing the Artist’s Way was to try and get unstuck with Yantsu, I tend to base my progress around what I’ve done with the novel.

Well, this week I had quite a breakthrough. I was thinking about the story last night in bed and I mentally shifted a couple of chapters around and I think I might finally know where I’m going with it.

I still need to do the shuffling in my Open Office document but I think the story will soon begin to move again.

Next week is all about recovering a sense of possibility. I’ll tell you how I get on next Sunday.

If you want to try the course for yourself, you can find it here:

The Artist’s Way

.

I haven’t blogged for a while because I’ve been really busy with work and my cat, who seems to be having a relapse.

Not to mention that January is the month the dreaded tax return has to be in. Thank goodness for my accountant because if I got started on the Inland Revenue this post would go on forever.

So, the rant. This morning I got yet another letter from the TV Licensing people. Now, I’d better give you a bit of background before I freak out completely or you’ll think I’ve finally flipped.

A few years ago we moved into a fully furnished property and part of the furniture was a TV. I asked the landlord if it could be removed and he looked at me as if I’d grown another head and said, “Well, not really. It belongs to the house.”

I didn’t want to make a scene so I dutifully paid for a licence and just tried not to kick the thing when I practised my karate in the lounge. No problem then.

Er, yes. Problem!

When we moved out the licence was valid for another six months and, as we were going back to South Africa, we asked for a refund.

Now, I’m not sure what the licensing people actually said, other than no, as I didn’t speak to them (this is a good thing or I’d probably still be behind bars.) But the bottom line is, we didn’t get a refund.

Okay, no big deal, I’ll just let that slide.

So, on my return from South Africa I moved into a brand new house. It was unfurnished and no one had lived there before so no TV had ever seen the inside of the house.

On moving in day there was a letter on the doormat from the TV licence people. Now, if this had been a polite reminder to licence my new property that would be fine.

But no, it was more or less threatening me, right from the start, that I was due a £1000 fine for not having a TV licence.

Having no phone line or internet connection at this point, I wrote to them telling them I don’t have a TV. No problem then.

Er, yes. Apparently there is a problem.

You see, according to the TV licensing people there’s a one in four chance that I’m lying to them and that I do, in fact, have a television lurking somewhere in my house so they will have to come and see for themselves.

Fair enough, come any time you like. I might even offer you a coffee while you snoop in my underwear drawer for a hand held receiving device. Hell, have a chocolate digestive while you’re at it.

Did they come? No! But they did stop sending letters threatening court action, right? Yes?

Wrong answer. The letters continued to come at the rate of about one every couple of months. So I phoned them, at my expense, and I told them I do not have a television.

I was asked if I had any receiving equipment that could record television. No. I was asked if I watched live television on my computer. Um, no, I didn’t even know you could watch live television on the computer. (Yes, I know, I’m at least 15 years behind the rest of the world, but I like it that way.)

Anyway, the very nice lady concluded the phone call by thanking me for informing them. And reminding me that she thinks I’m a barefaced liar and that they will be sending an enforcement officer round to check my underwear drawer for a TV.

Fine, I’ll get some chocolate digestives in. Send whoever you like, just stop sending damn letters and wasting paper, my time, your time etc!

Did they come? Nooooo. Are you starting to see a pattern here?

Did they stop sending letters? You know what, I don’t know. Because after 18 months of this I moved out of the property. And I hope, for the sake of their sanity, the new tenants have a TV licence.

End of story then.

Er, no!

So, 8 months ago I moved into another property. And guess what. The whole sorry saga began all over again. The phone calls, the letters, the filling in of online declarations and still it goes on and on.

Okay, I get that some people lie about not having a TV, but I am not one of them!

If you want to send someone out to check then go ahead. But for crying in a bucket, send someone and get it over with!

And while I am waiting for YOU to send someone at YOUR convenience to satisfy YOU that I am not lying, would you please at least have the decency to stop sending me threatening letters?

The BBC could probably stop increasing the licence fee every year if idiots like this actually did their job instead of constantly wasting time, money and resources on this utter nonsense.

Clearly they don’t understand English so I’ll try Afrikaans. Word wakker mense. Ek kyk nie TV nie!

.

Right, I decided to get the Artist’s Way update done on time this week. It was either that or falling asleep on the sofa feeling sorry for myself because I can’t get to the dojo today. Now there’s a great alternative to a karate session!

So, how did I do this week?

Well, I had a bit of a glitch with the Morning Pages. I’m not sure how it happened but I managed to forget them yesterday morning. I know, come on! How can I forget to do something that I’ve done religiously for the last month at least?*

By the time I realised I hadn’t done them it was almost 11pm. I still did them but they were more late night pages.

The other little issue I had was with the tasks. One of the questions required me to describe my childhood room. That was a tough one on two counts. First of all which room do I describe? And secondly, on account of having had so many different ones, I only have very vague memories of  them.

A lot of this week centred around childhood which made it a difficult one for me. I don’t know why, but I don’t remember much about my pre-high school years.

I know I loathed school but only because I have been told how much of a fuss I kicked up about going. I have it on good authority that I even kicked a teacher but I have no memory of it at all.

Anyway, before someone calls the men in white coats (or the police) I’d better do the check in.

The Check In

Morning Pages: Apart from yesterday’s instalment being bedtime pages I managed seven days out of seven.

Artist’s Date: Ah, now I think I almost did one this week. I did go wandering off by myself into the wilds of Keighley town centre. Now I know that’s probably not the most appealing place for an artist child but I did get to look at gadgets and interesting things with buttons and wires.

Okay, so I was looking for a webcam to replace the one Ubuntu ate but they all say you need Windows so I didn’t risk it.

The Tasks: As I said, this week was a little difficult mainly because I’m senile and it was so long ago that I really don’t remember that much about my childhood.

In Conclusion

I’m still having the weird dreams (when I manage to sleep) and I have noticed a tendency to think a lot more about Yantsu. I haven’t actually written any more, but thinking about it is an improvement.

Week four could be a big issue for me as it’s reading deprivation week. Yes, that’s a whole week without reading. I don’t know how I’ll cope as reading is the only thing that keeps me sane during my frequent insomnia attacks.

I’ll let you know how it goes next week.

If you are interested in doing the course you can find it here:

The Artist’s Way

.

*Yes, this is my week three progress report but some of my weeks have been longer than others.

Tags: The Artist's Way